Global Warming Means We Are All Going To Die Buried in Snow!

The esteemed Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS) has declared that global warming is causing all of the snow this winter.  They have always said this, and their predictions are always 100% correct.  Just as we have always been at war with Eastasia.  OK, well maybe in 2007 they told people who work in ski resorts that they should look for another occupation because snow was supposed to disappear forever.  Just a small mistake we should disregard.  After all, the UCS is made up of over 10,000 concerned scientists.  You can be one too, if you donate $5 to their political action website.

If you don't believe them, certainly you can believe the world-renown climate scientists Michael Mann and Phil Jones.  They developed the famous "hockey stick" seen in the really scientific movie "An Inconvenient Truth".  It has "Truth" in the title, so it must be true.  Well, some DENIERS say that this chart is not valid just because these dedicated scientists happened to lose the original raw data that made the graph.  It doesn't matter anyway, because it was found that using their computer algorithm, you can make almost any data set into a hockey stick graph.  So there, deniers!

And another thing.  Poor Phil Jones was bullied into admitting that there has been no global warming occurring for at least the past 15 years, just because he manipulated climate data and suppressed the study results of other scientists who disputed his alarmist (I mean, alarming) global warming predictions.

But how can anyone not believe the sincerity of Al Gore?  He won an Academy Award and a Nobel Prize.  The only other person to do that was George Bernard Shaw.  And look at what a great person he was.  Who can deny seeing the glaciers falling into the ocean in Mr. Gore's movie, and not have been horrified?  OK, they were actually CG effects, but they sure looked real and that's what counts.  I almost got to meet Mr. Gore once as he was getting off of his Gulfstream II and into his waiting limo, but I was restrained by his army of bodyguards following him in a caravan of SUVs.

Lucifer Artiste